When it comes to living a more minimal life, it is not about always about the physical ‘stuff’. Often the ‘weight’ of buying and owning is emotional, and that can live entirely unseen. Here is what I mean.

You probably have an inner voice that is all about practicality, need and value. Those are good qualities but they are capable of robbing joy from your life. For example when you see something for sale that you like your inner voice says: “you can make that yourself.” Or, “you’ll never wear that/use that.” And how about this one: “don’t buy the first thing you see. Shop around and find the best deal”. Even, even if the “best deal” is not what your heart really desires.

Shopping used to be really painful for me because of my inner voice. It used to take hours for me to make a decision to buy, which was, in itself, emotionally draining. I remember a particular time I wanted to buy something as a reminder of a special weekend.

turquoise earrings

Turquoise Earrings from Mexico

By the time I found a little shop that sold the type of things I like, it was near closing time and, as usual, my inner voice was in full force so any personal purchase was going to be met with resistance. I often buy a pair of earrings to mark an occasion or trip and on this day my inner voice reminded me that I tend to wear the same two or three pairs of earrings all the time despite having many pairs.

(To silence that voice I can remind myself that even if I do not wear the earrings, I enjoy looking at them because they instantly connect me to the occasion. It reminds me of the people, the place and the feeling, and that is a sweet and tender feeling.) But back to my story.

I left the store without buying. I told the clerk I was having trouble making up my mind and would return the next day.  But as it turned out, that was THE shopping opportunity of the trip. The next day was filled and we left early the following morning. I felt a small sense of loss which wasn’t about having the ‘thing’. It was about dampening my child-like delight, joy and enthusiasm.

It happens to me less these days but when it does, It makes me feel sad, and the memory of those times lingers. This is emotional clutter. It is blaming thoughts, continual internal commentary, being judgmental about yourself. It can also be having regrets, not releasing events and holding on to the past. It is the feeling of being emotionally beaten up.

I am sure you will be able to relate to my story: it is very common and I believe we all have similar patterns around our different issues. Personally I learned something I hadn’t quite seen before. Although I have played out this same scenario many times in my life, something clicked this time  and I was able to see it clearly as clutter.

Physical clutter might seem to be easier to handle but I find it is the emotional clutter that drags me down.

My Solution

My solution to this is to decide before setting out on a trip that I will get something for myself and to make time for it. It would not have to be something bought in a store. It could be a photograph I take, a few quiet moments writing in my journal, time spent searching for a special stone or shell. But if shopping is part of the occasion I could plan a budget in advance and have a ‘no questions allowed’ policy.

What will you do to release a pattern of emotional clutter?


 

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